Mmm, chocolate. Dark, rich, flavourful. A taste of the exotic, the beans grown in tropical countries (think Ivory Coast, Ghana and Indonesia) and often confected in Europe (who hasn’t heard of Swiss or Belgian chocolate?). Possibly blended with orange, salted caramel or even hot peppers. Or add a few nuts for the five people left on earth who can still eat them without having an allergic reaction. A special treat or a daily staple? You choose. No wrong answers! If you don’t care for chocolate, you should probably just stop reading here and now.

As I recently pondered this year’s plans for Easter (essentially none, given the current situation), it occurred to me how much chocolate is linked to selected festive occasions throughout the year. In fact, as I thought about it more deeply (yes, chocolate merits deep thought!), I realized that there is a seasonality to chocolate offerings. That led me to conclude that chocolate, like our natural world, has four distinct seasons. If it wasn’t already obvious to the world, chocolate is a force of nature.

Since chocolate is a gourmet food, I have taken the risky strategy of offering up recommended beverage pairings for each season. Remember, folks, I tried this at home – but probably shouldn’t have. Reader beware! Don’t say I didn’t warn you. …

Halloween Season – The first of the “Four Seasons of Chocolate” is Halloween. There is very little gourmet about the chocolate on offer, which is why these chocolate treats are mostly targeted at children. This season features lots of mini chocolate bars and some other non-chocolate sweet treats. Even if this is not a chocolate snob’s favourite season, it is a good primer for what is to come. Consider it the spring training of the chocolate year, a time to tune up your taste buds and focus on finesse. In any event, the Halloween chocolate will help get you through the grey days of November and early December – until the influx of premium Christmas chocolates begins. For those so inclined, our recommended beverage pairings with Halloween chocolate are fizzy orange pop for the kids or the black liquorice flavoured aperitif, known as Ouzo or Sambuca, for the adults.

Christmas Season – Perhaps chocolate doesn’t immediately come to mind as a primary feature of the Christmas Season. After all, there are all the larger gifts like a new large-screen TV for the family and the latest underwear/tie pairing or labour-saving kitchen gadget that your spouse gave you. Food-wise, chocolate may be eclipsed by the turkey plus trimmings and candy canes. Nonetheless, chocolate has its place of pride. Who doesn’t recall receiving a Terry’s chocolate orange, with its perfectly symmetrical segments and citrus taste, in their stocking on Christmas morning? I hadn’t thought about it in years and then rediscovered it a couple of years ago – now my children get one each Christmas to continue the tradition. For the adults there is alcohol-infused chocolate, which represents the best of both worlds – why have to chose? Then there are those little gold boxes and bags of Lindt chocolate that make such great hostess gifts. And chocolate can be mixed with peppermint to give it a unique Christmassy flavour – the true taste of Christmas spirit. Don’t forget the yummy milk chocolate gelt that is an intrinsic part of Hanukkah. But, for me personally, chocolate at Christmas brings back memories of parcels sent from Europe by my grandmothers: brown-paper packages tied up with string containing marzipan loaves covered in dark chocolate, chocolate-covered ginger hearts, chocolate waifers, rumballs, and much more. My sister and I used to eat these sweets for breakfast and our mother let us!! No wonder I am so nostalgic! Since Christmas is traditionally a season of excess, recommended beverage pairings to keep this theme going include creamy eggnog, peppermint hot chocolate or, if you want something stronger, Rumchata. But not recommended for breakfast please!

Valentine’s Day Season – It seems ludicrous to name a whole season for one day, but the fact remains that this is (arguably) the height of the chocolate year. This is the occasion where beautiful chocolate should be perfectly paired with beautiful flowers. I once read somewhere that yellow roses reflect friendship, red roses represent passionate love, and white roses symbolize love dead. This is why you should never give white chocolate at Valentine’s – after all, it is NOT chocolate. It has no flavour, it has no colour, it has no texture – it is pure sugar and simply smacks of insincerity. Instead, the best choices are milk chocolate for those who are in love, semi-sweet for those who are in long-term relationships, and bitter chocolate for those people who are “between relationships”. Recommended drink pairings are sparkling wine for those celebrating an anniversary (13^th Valentine’s Day together, honey!) or Fireball, the potent liquid form of those peppery red candy hearts. No recommendations for the kids since this is not their chocolate season.

Easter Season – The fourth and last season is heralded by the emergence of the chocolate Easter bunnies from hibernation. It’s an unambiguous sign of spring. Now I don’t know about you, but I have a bit of a hard time believing that the little roundish brown objects being left behind by the Easter Bunny are actually chocolate eggs. As I recall from my Grade 10 biology class (seems like yesterday, I remember it clearly!), bunnies don’t lay eggs. So this is once again a chocolate season mostly focused on younger children: they are too young to ask awkward questions and you can have them taste test the Easter Bunny’s little “gifts” before indulging yourself. Drink pairing recommendations for the Easter season include Gatorade (any colour that matches the Easter eggs) or Bailey’s Irish coffee.

And now the Four Seasons of Chocolate must come to an end. After all, this is the time of year when all the fashion magazines start to tell you it’s time to get your body bikini-ready for the beach. Chocolate is not conducive to this goal. Admittedly we may get a pass this year due to all the self-isolation and restrictions on travel, but this is expected to be an aberration. Furthermore, chocolate in the summer is just a goopy mess. You note that chocolate is not a big feature of Mother’s Day or Canada Day/Fourth of July. In summer chocolate becomes a side event – for dipping fresh fruit or covering an ice cream cone. In Mexico, where it is warm much of the year, the citizens have turned chocolate into mole sauce – a form in which it is supposed to be melted at all times.

My final thought on this subject is to offer up some hard-earned advice. We are now entering the unofficial “fifth season” of chocolate – the dreaded dry doldrums. On that basis, I would strongly suggest taking an in-depth inventory of all the chocolate concealed in your house – after all, the kids may have missed some chocolate the Easter Bunny left for them. If stocks are low (remember you have to get to October 31^st!), I would recommend going out to purchase all the leftover Easter chocolate when it goes on sale. If desperate, “borrow” some stores from your children as an emergency stash (forget guilt – you’d be doing them a favour by teaching them to consume chocolate responsibility). Finally, lock the chocolate into your safe with the rest of your valuables. And, for heavens’ sake, don’t lose the key or forget the combination! Don’t say I didn’t warn you. …

Stay home, stay safe. Best wishes to you and your families for a fabulous chocolate fest!