So you’ve seen the kids (or grandkids) off to school after the longest summer break in recent memory. Finally!! How’s that going so far?

After having sent my kids off to school on transit for years now, I suddenly find myself driving them to school again in an effort to reduce our exposure to the virus. I also found myself labelling their personal belongings again in order to reduce the odds of accidental cross-contamination while at school. Despite my concern about privacy issues, I have also mandated all members of our household to download the Canada COVID Alert app onto our phones (The Boyfriend got a pass only because, until recently, he owned a flip phone!). Finally, I have moved some of our outdoor furniture (with the addition of a small space heater) into our garage so that Son No. 2 can continue to hang out with friends in a not-too-cold, well-ventilated area and without bringing his pals into the house – I will reclaim the garage for my car as soon as the snow starts flying. Such are the outlandish behaviours that this pandemic has driven me to. If you’d told me any of this a year ago … well, you get the picture.

To further complicate matters, it’s been a fine balancing act between keeping the kids safe while also trying to keep my mother from becoming exposed to COVID. After the long-term care home kept my mother locked inside all summer while the infection rate was low and the weather was pleasant, we are finally able to have greater access to see her and, for a time, bring her home to my place to visit just as the return to school has been occurring. As they say, timing is everything! Meanwhile, the COVID numbers continue to climb and climb. …

Despite these very valid concerns, we all continue to plod along in our ever-changing new normal (is anything “normal” anymore?). Here are some curious indicators of the continuing toll our COVID life is having on many of us:

1. After years of taking pains to drill into your kids to share their toys, pencils, crayons, paper, food and more with their friends, you now find yourself telling them the exact opposite;
2. On one of those rare occasions recently where you found yourself heading out of the house with the kids (maybe to visit the dentist?), you realized it was the first time in months you were setting the security code on the home alarm – because these days someone is ALWAYS home;
3. Trying to plan ahead beyond a week or two has become almost impossible. Not only are most events taking place online, meaning that they just don’t need to be planned as far ahead as in the “old normal” (no need to pre-book venues or sell tickets in advance), but the world is changing so rapidly right now that making plans too far in advance will inevitably mean making new plans in a few days’ time. Life has become completely fluid and spontaneity is the name of the game;
4. You become mildly excited when you have to go out for an “in-the-flesh” real-life event because staying home and doing everything virtually has become so ordinary. Going to see the dentist has never been so thrilling!
5. You have dishpan hands even though the dishwasher is washing all the dishes. You are concerned the pharmacy will run out of eczema cream;
6. Each time you sanitize your hands, the stinging pain immediately reminds you of every papercut and hangnail you currently have. Which is at least fifty times a day.  You measure time in how long it will take the latest wound to heal and stop hurting;
7. You have never paid so much attention to or tested your internet speed as often as in the last few weeks/months. You have a vain hope that your internet provider is actually tracking the frequency of your testing and boosts your speed every time you complete yet another test. Which is at least fifty times a day;
8. The sink in the front bathroom now features not only soap, but also sanitizer and skin lotion. This is the place where all-but-empty bottles of hand sanitizer come to die – because you dare not run low in the car or while out. This is where your hands get a second chance at life as you rub the obscenely expensive hand lotion into your skin after each washing (the “cheap stuff” made you break out even worse). Did I mention the concern about the pharmacy running low on eczema cream?
9. You have been buying Lysol wipes every single blessed time you find them. You have now amassed such a big stash and are using them so sparingly that the wipes you bought in April have completely dried out and are utterly useless;
10. You have purchased a propane heater and hot blankets so that you can host your family’s Christmas dinner outdoors this year. The Hot Pockets are on backorder;
11. You are compulsively checking the travel websites and drooling over the discount prices to your favourite southern destinations for coming February. The debate within the family rages on whether to go or not. Each faction thinks the other one is insane – or will be by March without a sun vacation this winter;
12. You have pre-purchased enough flour, yeast, sugar and chocolate chips to see you through to spring 2021;
13. Along with the phrases “physical distancing” and “flattening the curve”, you have now added the word “quadmester” to your burgeoning COVID-related lexicon;
14. You have pre-purchased seeds, hardwood and garden furniture for summer 2021. That unused travel money has to be spent on something.

And so now we fasten our seatbelts for the next ride on what is the COVID rollercoaster. But in the end what really matters is remaining healthy and staying connected with family and friends. In that vein, please excuse me as I go and pack up another care package to mail to my sister in the U.S.