We are now several weeks into the ”new normal” of physical distancing/self-isolating. By now you have likely matched all the lids on your plastic container collection, found every odd sock your washing machine ever “ate”, consumed all the leftover Halloween, Christmas, Valentine’s and Easter chocolate in the house, binge watched Netflix until you exceeded your “limitless” internet data plan, and let out your pajama pants – twice. At this point hopefully you haven’t put your kids up for adoption or decided to trade in your spouse for a house plant. In other words, the dull reality of this pandemic is setting in and you desperately need some new form of distraction and entertainment.

As we found out in the financial downturn of 2008/09, a crisis is a terrible thing to waste. Therefore, this is an opportune time to take stock, gain some valuable insight and get to know the world around you better. In that vein, we here at “Living the Jam Gen” have developed the following questions to help you in your pursuit of enlightenment while stuck (mostly) inside.

Please select one answer from the options given:

b) You are spending inordinate amounts of time on Zoom;

c) You are living on social media to stay distracted from reality;

2. It seems you can hear more birds singing tha usual for this time of year because:

a) They flew back early to Canada while they were still allowed to cross the border;

b) It’s easier to hear them when you escape the house due to your sudden newfound interest in outdoor activities;

c) Their twittering isn’t being drowned out by constant traffic noise;

d) In a moment of desperation, you watched Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” and now you hear them EVERYWHERE. …

3. You are spending less time on tech because:

a) You are being a good role model for your kids;

b) You can’t use your device because your kids are on it ALL DAY;

c) Your device is broken and your kids can’t fix it;

d) Your device is broken and you can’t take it to the Apple or Microsoft stores for repairs.

4. The grass in your garden looks greener than usual this year because:

a) You can’t see the grass on the other side of the fence;

b) You’ve spent hours fertilizing it while getting the yard perfect for the months of “quality alone time” you’ll be spending in it;

c) You’re watching strangers walking over your newly fertilized lawn while they social distance from the people hogging the sidewalk;

d) You’ve lost your rose-coloured glasses sometime during the past few weeks.

a) Cleanliness is next to Godliness;

b) Old habits die hard;

c) It’s an activity that kills ten minutes each day – longer if you lather more;

d) Your housemates continue to insist on it.

8. You haven’t driven the car in a month because:

a) Your kids’ school has moved into your house;

b) The commute from your bedroom to your dining room table doesn’t require a car;

c) You’d rather walk to the grocery store than drive because it means more time away from the office and kids’ school;

d) You’ve forgotten how to drive.

If you answered a), b), c) or d), award yourself full marks. You are toughing it out at home, working when you can, homeschooling the kids, doing lots of comfort baking and cooking homemade meals, stretching your groceries for two weeks at a time, and generally marvelling at how well you have held up so far. This is admirable. Thanks for staying home and helping to keep everyone safe.

Best wishes to you and your families for continued good health.